An overview of Potato Planting Day:
Step 1. Remember to heed a warning that seed potatoes might be scarce this season and order some four weeks ago. Decide that planting time is soon, open them, realize they don’t look very good—a bit moldy and sad—and ask your husband to buy more on one of his supply expeditions.
Step 2. Be pleased that he got the last bag of seed potatoes from the local garden store before it closed down to encourage social distancing. You accomplished two important things: you now have seed potatoes to plant and also you were right about the scarcity thing. It is very important to be right.
Step 3. Decide firmly that today is planting day and open the box of old seed potatoes and start to prep them because they arrived first and the old you does things in a particular order. By prep, I mean cut them at least in half, perhaps in quarters, but make sure there are at least three budding eyes per piece.
Step 6. Spread compost on the garden bed and dig holes about 4-6 inches deep at least 6 inches apart. Realize sadly that the 6-*enter unit of measurement here*-apart rule applies to so many things now, including and especially people. Refuse to feel maudlin and keep plodding along.
Step 7. Stop everything because your new granddog, a rescue beagle named Frodo, has come by for a visit. He is all that matters. Pay no attention to the garden until Frodo has continued on his merry way.
Step 8. Go so far as to place the gross and moldy seed potatoes in the holes before you realize that you don’t have to do things the old way anymore. The new potatoes look healthier and will probably yield a better, tastier crop. Pluck the gross seed potatoes out of their holes and put them aside because you know you’re not giving up on them.
Step 8. Prep the better seed potatoes (cut in half because they’re small, make sure there are at least three budding eyes on each piece) and drop them happily into the holes recently vacated by the gross potatoes. Cover firmly and water.
Step 9. Place three of the gross seed potatoes in a small planter to at least give them a chance. Create in your mind an imaginary competition between the good potatoes and the gross ones, and wonder who—I mean which—will win, because you are known to spend mental energy on things like this and there’s no point in fighting it.
Step 10.—Sit on a bench and watch them grow. Mound once they’re 6 inches tall and again when they reach 12 inches in height. Harvest in late July or August when the leaves begin to curl. Be delighted with yourself you’ve overcome corona quarantine challenges and become a successful (maybe even AWARD WINNING) and well-fed potato farmer.